First Letter/Phone call

7/8/2018

It has been ten days since Sam was inducted, which means today was the first scheduled phone call. It just so happens I got home from a family vacation at midnight, so I received mail for the first time in a week. My morning started with reading his letter, which was really exciting considering I have mailed eleven myself. The letter was from multiple days prior so he talked about stuff he did at the beginning of the week. Nevertheless, it was amazing to hear how positive he was and to learn about some of the things he had been doing.

After church and a trip to the gym, I headed over to Sam’s house to sit in on the phone call. The call was supposed to come in about 1:15, but it ended up being a little bit later than that. While we waited, I played a board game with Sam’s siblings. When his mom’s phone rang, we all sat in the family room and listened to him talk on speakerphone. It took a little prompting to get him to keep talking, but he had loads to say about his experience so far. It was really comforting to hear what a great time he is having and how positive he seems to be despite being so sore!

His mom very generously gave me the last two minutes to talk with Sam by myself, so I took the phone and went into another room. In the heat of the moment it was hard to come up with things to say, so I highly recommend writing things down that you want to ask your plebe. Neither of us cried which I consider an accomplishment! Honestly, it was just amazing to hear his voice and learn about his experience so far!

Sam is thankfully enjoying his time and seems to be adapting to the environment easily– this doesn’t always happen with plebes– so I’m a lucky gal.

 

I-Day: Lauren’s Perspective

6.28.18

As I-Day got closer and closer, Sam and I agreed it would be best if I did not come down to Annapolis for the festivities. Sam, along with his parents, flew down to Maryland the day before I-Day– the two days before that we were inseparable.

I woke up at four o’clock to wish Sam good luck and talk to him before he left for The Academy. By six, he was getting in line, turning off his phone, and getting ready to have his head shaved. I texted his mom throughout the day and stalked Facebook and Instagram for videos and pictures. A Facebook account under the name of Academy Insider did a live stream of the induction ceremony, which I watched after work. I had Sam’s mom send me photos of him, and then I took a break during work to have a quick two minute conversation with him while he was picnicking on the Yard with his parents.

I had been hesitant about the whole experience prior to this phone call, but when he picked up, he sounded so excited and happy. He went on and on about the view from his room. It made my day.

After that his mom sent me photos of him in his uniform.

The upcoming six weeks have been haunting me for the last five months, but after today, I feel so so much better. I sent my first letter out today, and in it included five photos of us that I know he loves. I’m convinced the next 42 days are going to fly by.

For any girls out there in the same position as me, know there are resources out there that make this process significantly easier. Sam’s mom pointed me in the direction of a Facebook group specifically set up for USNA Class of 2022 Girlfriends. This massive group of girls was talking all day and supporting each other in every way imaginable. It is really comforting knowing you aren’t the only one going through this, and incredibly useful having a group of people who can answer any questions you have– whether it’s what to send in letters, or what to wear to the Navy ball in 11 months– they know it all AND will wish you goodnight when you’re missing your loved one.

I have also found being close with my boyfriend’s family has made this experience wayyyyy easier. His mom is going through more than I am, so having her constantly reminding me to “hang in there” is incredibly humbling. I have also arranged to go to their house for all of Sam’s phone calls. And his older brother has reached out to offer his support (and stealthily supply me with Sam’s sweatshirts.)

After this first day, I know everything is going to be okay. Sam is strong and excited and exactly where he belongs– and I couldn’t be any more proud of him or thrilled for what’s to come.

Application Process- Lauren’s Point of View

When it comes to the application process for significant others, there are two words that completely encompass the experience– frustrating and enlightening.

While Sam was off stressing over paperwork and interviews, I sat and worried about him. The processes takes an agonizingly long time due to the extensive information they require, and filing through all of the applicants takes quite a bit of time.

The day Sam was denied his first senatorial nomination was one of the hardest. You need to remember that this process is a hundred times as stressful for your significant other as it is for you. Being denied even just a small portion of it can ruin the entire application, and even worse, deflate your significant other’s confidence.

I sat for literal months waiting for information on this and that, and throughout the entire time, I had an internal argument with myself. I knew for a fact that Sam deserved to be at the Naval Academy. I knew he had the credentials. I knew he would make it. Furthermore, those temporary “no” responses made those feelings even stronger. (I can not deny I wrote letters to the DOD and USNA Application Office in my head on more than one occasion. One day I even found legal evidence to support the fact Sam shouldn’t be medically disqualified.)

Nevertheless, there was nothing I could do. The helpless feeling this brought was overwhelming. When Sam’s confidence would falter, or something would be denied, all I could do was remind him how much he has going for him, that one denied senatorial nomination means nothing, that there is still so much more to the process, that he deserves more than anyone to be there- and it shows. Staying positive for so long while your significant other feels like giving up is difficult, but sometimes you need to carry a little weight for them. They will carry some of yours later.

Even though I’m unsure the words helped him, they made me feel better. The more I thought about how amazing his records were, how much he had on his resume, and how he truly wanted to serve his country, the more I realized there was absolutely no reason for them not to take him, and if they didn’t, it happened for a reason. (Sam probably never wants to hear that phrase again.)

The most important part of this process is to simply stand by your significant other. No matter how much they feel like giving up, remind them of the reasons they’re doing this. Remind them why it means so much. And remind them how proud of them you are for it.

It’ll all work out in the end, whether or not you see it at the time.

(And to clarify the rumors- yes I did cry when Sam got accepted. Just a little bit.)

The Application Process- Sam’s Point of View

The application to the Naval Academy is unlike any other “regular” college you apply for. My application process started in January of my junior year of high school. My preliminary application was my application to The United States Naval Academy Summer Seminar. I headed off to NASS at the end of March/beginning of April. I went there and did my CFA (Candidate Fitness Assessment.) When I got home, I started working on my real application. This long and tedious process seemed to drag on for months… And it did. I was met with plenty of roadblocks along the way that I had to get over one at a time. They included having the wrong English and math teachers write my recommendation letters, my appointed Blue and Gold officer going on a three month vacation, and a lot of medical referrals ending with a medical disqualification from the DoDMERB (Department of Defense Medical Exam Review Board) . Even though some of these setbacks caused me to be angry, yell, hit my punching bag, and even cry a tear or two (or twenty,) it all worked out and I met some great people along the way.

The Congressional Nomination process is a whole other monster. I applied for three nominations: my two state senators and my district representative. I got emails from all three saying that I had been offered interviews. I was stoked– this seemed to be my first big step towards an appointment. My first interview was with people from Senator Debbie Stabenow. I went to a really, really, really fancy hotel and sat in a room while waiting for my turn. Even though I saw some kids I recognized from Boys State, I was still freaking out. (It also didn’t help that I saw one of my interviewers carrying a pistol in his waist band.) The next day I went to a local university and did my interview with people representing Senator Gary Peters. I was not as anxious this time around until I walked into the interview room. Before my Dad and I left the house that morning he said we did not have to iron my shirt because I will have my suit coat on and it won’t be that big of a deal. The first thing the interviewers say to me is “take off your jacket, get comfortable.” In my head I was saying to myself “Oh crap, the one thing I was told not to do.” My third and final interview was two weeks later with Representative Mike Bishop. I was most confident about this one and I was very relaxed going in. I was asked the hardest questions at this interview. I was asked “If you were given an order to launch a nuke, but you thought it was illegal, would you launch it?” Right after I answered, they asked me if I knew about the My Lai Massacre (look it up.) They said that one of the soldiers being tried for murder used the defense that he was just following orders. The interviewer asked me what I thought about this as a defense. Thinking back on this, both questions didn’t really have good answers– they were probably just testing to see how I worked under pressure.

A month later I got a letter from Debbie Stabenow saying that I did not get a nomination. A few days later I got a letter from Mike Bishop saying that I did get a nomination and then a month or so later I got a letter from Gary Peters saying that I got a nomination. Everyone was super excited for me but I knew the process was far from over. Awhile later I got an email saying that I received a letter of assurance, which means if everything else on my application passes, I have an offer of appointment waiting for me. I was just waiting on my medical to clear. I got an email that lead to me finding out that I was medically disqualified because of some heart condition I may or may not have. I was pissed. I looked into the waiver process and then a week or so later got an email saying that a medical waiver had been granted. I got my official offer of appointment sitting in AP Calc one day via email. I was calm about it and texted a picture to Lauren. (I’ve been told she started crying in AP English.) I was officially in and couldn’t be happier. For about 3 weeks after that, this was extent of most conversations I had:

Person: “Hey Sam, congrats on the Naval Academy! That’s huge!”

Me: “Thank you, I can not wait to start.”